Habbit 1 : Be Proactive

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," by Stephen R. Covey is the book I am currently reading at the moment. I touched a bit on the first chapter in my last post. The first chapter is about how we think effects us greatly especially in our actions. The second chapter, which I will discuss in this post is about the first habit in the seven habits talked about in the book. The first habbit is about being "Proactive." Covey explains that theres two kinds of people in this world, Reactive and Proactive. Reactive people tend to blame and make excuses whereas Proactive people take charge of their problems and seek solutions. For example, a Reactive person would say:

There's nothing I can do.
That's just the way I am.
He makes me so mad.
They won't allow that.
I have to do that.
I can't.
I must.
If only.

A Proactive person would say:

Let's look at our alternatives.
I can choose a different approach.
I control my own feelings.
I can create an effective presentation.
I will choose an appropriate response.
I choose.
I prefer.
I will.

The Proactive person's language shows his attitude and how he is in control. And if we remain in control of ourselves we can direct our way to where we want to be.

Another subject the second chapter in the book touched on was the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence. The Circle of Concern is the things in our life we worry about but have no "mental or emotional involvement." For example, the flaws of other people, the problems in politics, and circumstances they have no control over. The Circle of Concern results in blaming, accusing attitudes, and feelings of victimization. The Circle of Influence is things we can do something about, which produce positive energy. The biggest influence we have is ourselves and the best thing to do is change yourself to fix a problem. If you are having problems with someone else's weakness it would be reactive to ridicule them about their weakness. The best approach, would be to first set an example by being a role model that could inspire the person to change his/her weakness. "By working on ourselves instead of worrying about conditions, we were able to influence the conditions."

A Proactive person focuses on his/her Circle of Influence which begins to grow and lets the Proactive person eleminate concerns because his influence starts to have an immediate effect on what use to be in his/her Circle of Concern.

I am reading "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"

Like the title of this blog post says, I am reading "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," by Stephen R. Covey. I highly recommend this book even if you are a proactive person, it is good to know the formula to smooth out your rough corners. The first chapter talked about paradigm shifts.

Paradigm shifts are drastic changes in methodology and practice. The book touched on how the way we think effects the way we see and feel about things. There is an example in the book where the author is on a bus and everything is peaceful and calm untill a man and his child get on the bus. The kid is making a racket and disturbing everyone, and the father is doing nothing about it. When the author couldn't stand it anymore he told the father to do something about the kid. The father tells the author that he is sorry, that his wife just died and they are coming back from the hospital. The author had a paradigm shift and now he understands why the kid is acting like that and has compasion for the father and kid.

So, when you feel agitated by someones mean act towards you or foul attitutde, try to imagine a possible excuse for the other person. What this will do is give the other person a chance to redeem him/herself, instead of having you labeling the person as an "asshole" and letting the person get under your skin. Because there can be a chance that the person experiencing a miss comunication, which is where most problems arrive from.

A weak person let's the action's and words of other people affect how they feel emotionally inside. The way towards becoming a stronger a person is to change the way you think, to perform a paradigm shift. If we stick to our strong ideals we will perform our priorities with a purpose that will not be dilluted by other people because we will not be influenced by negativity. Set your goal, find out what you have to do to accomplish this goal, and then execute the task in the order you determined to be most effective. It's the same as climbing up stairs, one step at a time and you will reach the top (your goal).